Forgiving Ourselves

Forgiving Ourselves: 

“Jesus Paid it All” 

– or did He?

Patuxent Presbyterian Church

Rev. Robert Bayley, Interim Pastor 

Psalm 51:1-17                 
Micah 7:18-19                        
Matthew 26:69-75

“Then he began to call down curses on himself…he went outside and wept bitterly.” - Matthew 26:74

Q: Where in your history is there a place where you ‘call down curses on yourself’ and privately say to yourself, “I can’t/won’t forgive myself for ...” weeping bitter tears in the process?

GOD’S RESPONSE  TO SELF CONDEMNATION  

Condemnation: con = ‘with’ + damnare = ‘to inflict loss, to damn’. 
“This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” - John 3:19-20

Jesus does not condemn us: “Who is in a position to condemn? Only Christ, and Christ died for us, Christ rose for us, Christ reigns in power for us, Christ prays for us!” - Romans 8:34 (J.B. Phillips)

“There is not one inch in the entire area of our human life about which Christ, who is sovereign of all, does not cry out, ‘Mine!’” Abraham Kuyper, 1837-1920, prime minister of the Netherlands and Calvinist theologian. Quoted in the book “Faith Unfolded” by Jim Osterhouse: “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” - Isaiah 43:25

SO WHAT ABOUT FORGIVING OURSELVES?

I WON’T forgive myself, a matter of volition, of our will: we must choose to want to be forgiven.
I CAN’T forgive myself, a matter of ability: you are right – only Jesus can forgive you.

“Who can forgive sins but God alone?” - Mark 2:7

JESUS PAID IT ALL: FORGIVENESS OF SELF IS ACKNOWLEDGING THIS

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” - 1 John 1:9

“Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. He forgives all my sins” - Psalm 103:2-3

MONDAY MORNING

Begin every day this week with these verses from Philippians 3:13-14:

“One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

“In Jesus, the best is always yet to come.” - Corrie ten Boom 1892-1983

The Power of the Cross

Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

Oh, to see the dawn of the darkest day:
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men, torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood. 

CHORUS:
This, the pow’r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross. 

Oh, to see the pain written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev’ry bitter thought, ev’ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.  CHORUS

Now the daylight flees; now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two, dead are raised to life;
”Finished!” the vict’ry cry. CHORUS

Oh, to see my name written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death; life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love. 

FINAL CHORUS
This, the pow’r of the cross:
Son of God—slain for us.
What a love! What a cost! 
We stand forgiven at the cross.”

Asking Forgiveness of Others

Asking forgiveness of others –

The difficult journey we don’t want to make.

Patuxent Presbyterian Church

Rev. Robert Bayley, Interim Pastor

Matthew 5:23-24          
Luke 15:11-24              
Luke 15:25-32

The difficult journey we don’t want to make, 
involves the following steps:

THE JOURNEY INVOLVES WORSHIP - The healing of a broken place in a relationship where we need to go to someone and ask them to forgive us is framed by worship:

“… offering your gift at the altar ... leave your gift at the altar … be reconciled ... then come and offer your gift.” ~ Matthew 5:23, 24

This can be structured worship as on Sunday morning or an attitude or disposition of worship in our hearts toward the Lord, but it is in such a context the Holy Spirit brings to mind the names of those to whom we need to go and ask forgiveness.

THE JOURNEY INVOLVES REMEMBERING – to remember, recall, call to mind; from “again” and “mind.”

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.” ~ Matthew 5:23-24

“Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” ~ Step Eight of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

THE JOURNEY INVOLVES GOING AND BEING RECONCILED Greek NT – verb to change, to cause one thing to cease and another to take its place.

English - prefix “re” again or back + verb “conciliare” bring together = to bring back together.

“First, go and be reconciled to your brother; …” ~ Matthew 5:24

“I apologize” or “Please forgive me”?

An apology = apologia = (apologetics) = a speech in one’s own self-defense.  
In an apology the other person receives something: “I apologize.” – “I accept your apology.”

Request for forgiveness = to give up desire to punish, and instead, to pardon.

Our request gives them an opportunity: “Please forgive me.” – Their response gives us a gift: “I forgive you.”  

The story of the prodigal son is a study in the dynamics of hurt, forgiveness and reconciliation.

MONDAY MORNING

Write the names of those you need to go to and ask for forgiveness. Will you ‘go?’

Pray: 

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; 
test me and know my anxious thoughts. 
See if there is any offensive way in me, 
and lead me in the way everlasting.”  
~ Psalm 139:23-24

“Forgiveness is God’s invention for coming to terms with a world in which, despite their best intentions, people are unfair to each other and hurt each other deeply. He begins by forgiving us. And he invites us all to forgive each other.”  ~ Lewis Smedes, Forgive and Forget ©1984

Offering Forgiveness to Those Who Have Hurt Us - Why? Sermon Notes

"Offering forgiveness to those who have hurt us – Why?"

Patuxent Presbyterian Church

Rev. Robert Bayley, Interim Pastor

Matthew 18:15-17                           

Matthew 6:9-15                              

Genesis 50:15-21

What is to be our initial response to those who have hurt us? Luke 6:27-28

“’…love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you…’”

Q: For whom do you need to pray who has mistreated you?

How many times are we to forgive those who have hurt us? Matthew 18:21-22

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” 

Q: Who do you need to keep on forgiving?

Why do I need to be the one who goes to the one who hurt me and offer forgiveness – shouldn’t they come to me? Matthew 18:15

“”If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.’”

Q: Do whom do you need to go and offer forgiveness by discussing with them how they have hurt you?

What can an offer of forgiveness confrontation look like?

Genesis 50:15-21

-          Sometimes a fear of vengeance – v15

“’What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?’”

-          Sometimes a request for forgiveness – v17

“’Now please forgive the sins of the servants of God of your father.’”

-          Forgiveness in the context of God’s sovereignty – v19

“’Do not be afraid. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good…’”

Offering forgiveness to those who have hurt us – Why? Matthew 6:12,14-15

“’Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned against us…For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.’”   

Q; Reflective questions:

Where in our own life, your own history, are you having trouble finding forgiveness for yourself?  

Write the names of people you haven’t forgiven. How does this relate to your answer above based on Matthew 6:12,14-15?

THIS WEEK

Each day spend time on the questions in this outline – ask the Holy Spirit to help you know what the right answer before God is for you, and to give you a humble and willing heart to do what you know HE is showing you to do. You won’t regret it.

“The only day we ever have to forgive each other in is this one.”

Lewis Smedes, 1921-2002,  Forgive and Forget © 1984