Day 259: Holy Friends

Day 259

Faith in the Midst of a Pandemic

A series of daily reflections for people of faith, by Rev. Robert Bayley, Interim Pastor

Patuxent Presbyterian Church, California, Maryland – pastorrobert@paxpres.org

Week Thirty-seven    Saturday 28 November 2020

Holy Friends

“What if you came out of this pandemic stronger and more faithful than when you began? That was the question I posed to the congregation as we embarked on a project to transform our board of deacons from a problem-oriented ministry to one inspired by the concept of holy friendship, as dean of Duke Divinity School L. Gregory Jones has written: ‘Holy friends challenge the sins we have come to love, affirm the gifts we are afraid to claim and help us dream dreams we would otherwise not dream.’ In holy friendship, we open ourselves to an honesty that is critical to our growth but can be uncomfortable for us to hear.” - From an article by the same name by a pastor in the current issue of as Christian magazine.

It was our first Sunday in a new church and a reception was being held for us. A woman came up to my wife and announced that she wanted to be Ruth’s best friend in the church. Needless to say that went nowhere fast – if there is anything that friendship is NOT it is instantaneous. 

Etymologically ’friend’ comes from an ancient word meaning ‘to love,’ and has to do with attachment and commitment. Sound familiar? It should because as Christians we are already engaged in such a friendship: “…I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you,” says Jesus to us in John 15:15. 

Friendship by dynamic definition must of necessity be a two-way street or it is not, at the end of the day, truly friendship. Over the years as I have watched ‘friends’ come and go I have realized that the definition of a true friend is reduceable to 6 simple words: ‘A friend is someone who stays.’  Again, sound familiar? “I will never leave you, I will never forsake you” says our redeemer God in Hebrews 13:5. Whatever the dynamics, times of agape love and times of frank words that might for the moment hurt, a friend remains in place. Perhaps this pandemic is an opportune time to examine our relationships and become intentional about friendships of depth, durability, candor and affirmation. Where to start? The definition above of holy friends.

Reflective question: Who would you say are your best true friends? For whom are you the same?

Reflective Scripture: Proverbs 27:6 – “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, …”

Reflective hymn:

“My Song is Love Unknown” – Samuel Crossman (1624-1683)

He came from his blest throne, salvation to bestow.

But men made strange and none the longed for Christ would know.

But O, my Friend, my Friend indeed,

Who at my need his life should spend!