DAY 212
Faith in the Midst of a Pandemic
A series of daily reflections for people of faith
by Rev. Robert Bayley, Interim Pastor
Patuxent Presbyterian Church, California, Maryland
pastorrobert@paxpres.org
Week Thirty-one Monday 12 October 2020
Social Distancing Can Hurt Your Friendships
Staying Connected in 2020 Requires Shared Commitment
“Friendships need four elements to grow, according to Kat Vellos, an author and connection coach: close physical proximity, regular interactions, a compatible outlook on life and a shared commitment to being there for each other … when they are all present, friendship can bloom. However, if any of these components are lacking ‘due to circumstances or not being actively nurtured, the greater your likelihood of failure,’ she wrote.’” - From a current newspaper article by the same title.
“Steve and I have been friends for many years,” I said in a group of men on a retreat. His response caught me off guard: “We’re not friends, we are acquaintances. My list of friends is short, but I have many acquaintances.” It stung. It stung partly because it was said in front of others, some of whom I had also considered friends for years. But it also stung because I knew he was right, making a distinction I had never considered before in our culture of ‘instant friendships.’
Friendships were central for Jesus during his earthly ministry. Listen to how he describes them. “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15. For Jesus the definition of friendship was sharing who he was with others. The above article reminds us that “Staying connected in 2020 requires shared commitment.” Sounds like the relationship between Jesus and us, doesn’t it?
Over the years I have watched people come and go who have professed friendship and even love for each other or for me. I have watched people befriend others only to abandon them when that person’s behavior became problematic or they changed beliefs. So I have come up with my own definition of a friend – you can ‘try it on’ to see if it fits in your relationships with ‘friends’:
A friend is someone who stays.
Reflective question: Whom do you know who needs you to be a true friend just now?
Reflective Scripture: Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend loves at all times.”
Reflective hymn:
“There’s Not a Friend Like the Lowly Jesus” – Johnson Oatman 1856-1922)
There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus: No, not one! No, not one!
No one else could heal all our soul’s diseases: No, not one! No, not one!
Jesus knows all about our struggles; He will guide ‘til the day is done:
There’s not a Friend like the lowly Jesus: No, not one! No, not one!
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