Hello, my name is Katie; I want to start this off by saying that I don’t
think I would have ever imagined that such good could come from a
pandemic--from a time where everything was locked down: I couldn't go to
school, I couldn't hangout with my friends, I couldn't go to church, and no one
could even visit each other, let alone shake hands or hug. Let’s face it: for a
while, the world’s deafening heartbeat went silent. But that’s the thing about
silence: in it, you can hear the breath of God--consistent and never
ending.
Even before everything was shut down, I went to youth group, I attended services here regularly, and thoroughly enjoyed both of those activities. But if I’m being honest, the world’s voice had slowly gotten louder and louder, its influence becoming stronger and getting a tighter grasp on my mind. Because of that, for so much of my life, I defined myself by grades and academic achievements, and, being a junior in high school when this all began, school work was pretty much my top priority. But apparently, when the entire world stops and school gets shut down, I have no school work to prioritize. What would fill that void in my life? Now I know, that answer is Jesus.
It was a slow progression as I started to attend youth group meetings held over zoom and watched online sermons that fed me exactly what I needed. Looking back, it is so clear to me how God used those things as well as the youth leaders (Steve, Robbie, and Amanda) along
with my friends (specifically Ava, Victoria, and Kyle) to guide me along my journey in faith. Every conversation we had, and every moment was ordained by God and helped me not just to know Jesus but to love him with all that I have.
A relatively recent conversation with a friend helped me to know what it means to love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. As a more logical thinker, it was easiest for me to love God with my mind, resting in the knowledge that God is real and loves me, but to know it with my heart? That’s a whole different story. For me, it came with the late night worship sessions alone in my room and developing a prayer life that was honest and true and devoted to Him and His kingdom. It came in reading my Bible in a way that would leave me different each time I read. It came in having a boldness about my faith. It came in humbling myself, submitting to His will, and putting all my efforts into bringing Him glory. It came in repentance.
What I used to not understand was that if I loved Jesus, I would not be ashamed, nor would I want to do anything that would take away from His glory. For so long, I sought my own glory and prided myself in righteousness, and honestly, it’s still a struggle of mine that God is helping me work through, leaning on His strength as opposed to my own. But I thought that since I was “nice” to people, that I was good enough. But the truth is that none of us are good enough—for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. But that’s the whole point of who Jesus is and what He did for each and every one of us. When I gave my life wholly over to Christ, my identity was no longer in my grades or anything else besides Him, and I am so
incredibly grateful that Christ died for me when I was still a sinner so that I could be redeemed through His blood and be reconciled to the Lord my God. And so I may boast in Him being my rock and my refuge.
I didn’t plan the immense amount of growth that has occurred this past year, to know what it truly means to love the almighty God, creator of the universe. I was just trying to get through
high school, I didn’t plan anything at all. But God did. Every word spoken was planned out to bring me closer to Him, because He chased after me. He pursued me. All this to say, that there is truth in my favorite verse, Romans 8:28. I know because I have witnessed it in my own life, through this pandemic. Through His prevailing purpose amidst a storm of isolation.
high school, I didn’t plan anything at all. But God did. Every word spoken was planned out to bring me closer to Him, because He chased after me. He pursued me. All this to say, that there is truth in my favorite verse, Romans 8:28. I know because I have witnessed it in my own life, through this pandemic. Through His prevailing purpose amidst a storm of isolation.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
Praise be to God.